To Whom it May Concern,

To whom it may concern,

I write to you from a farm in Nicaragua that is currently being brushed with dusky silver light from the setting sun. From here, I can see the smoke from the garbage dump where they burn trash stretching heavenward, perhaps as an SOS to God, Who has seemingly sunk into silence. 

I honesty don’t know who reads my blogs. For the past 9 months, I have been distributing them faithfully, 2 per week, 8 per month, so that the expressions of feeling that are cluttered in my heart will be released. Most of them are written to no one in particular, they are only feeble projections of what I think the Lord has been teaching me, as much for the organization of my own thoughts as they are to proclaim the testimonies of this program. So, this blog is to whoever it may concern, whether you clicked the link on my instagram bio or you have been consistently following this journey. To whom it may concern, please take your time to read the following. 

Supporters: I cannot describe to you how much you have meant to me. In October 2020, I sent you letters each sealed with my own eagerness, telling you about why I wanted to spend a year abroad on a mission trip. Some of you have known me from birth; some of you have taught me or coached me or discipled me; some of you have merely heard my name spoken by my parents or waved to me in church. You were not needed, for the God Who is master over all earthly treasure had called me and was going to provide me with everything I needed. But you gave anyway, whether out of poverty or affluence, you displayed the riches of generosity you possessed in Christ. On May 5, 2021, I was fully funded. I would like to inform you, dear supporter, that I have nearly finished the race I told you about a year and a half ago. I praise the Lord for you, because when I considered leaving the field, the faces that pressed themselves into my vision were all of you. I remembered that you answered His nudge with joy, praying for me with energy that I did not have to spend on myself. I praise the Lord for you, because you strengthened me by your sacrifice. 

Locals from all the places I’ve gone to: I called you “my ministry”. I saw you as a project that I would work on during ministry hours, but you were so much more than that. You were my friends, you were my brothers and sisters, you shared your life with me. To the girl who would buy my coffee in Romania; to the Haitian man who lived in the Dominican with his 5 children and no money but still opened his house to us; to the Nicaraguan grandmother who gave us mangos from her tree just for sitting in her presence for an hour; to whoever it may concern, you have given me more than you know. If you are reading this, I just want to say that you glorify God with your very breath, you glorify Him by living and loving and trying because you were made in His image. Yes, the image of the Living, Almighty God is sketched on your features, you are covered in His fingerprints. Perhaps I didn’t love you well enough, perhaps I neglected you out of exhaustion or ignorance. But that doesn’t change who you are. You are sought for and fought for with supernatural endurance. Run to Him, my friends, wherever I met you, He will also meet you there. One day, when this life has elapsed like the sun after a long day, I will see you again. In this life we saw a reflection, then we will see face to face, Love Himself will be our light, He will glisten off our skin and fill our lungs with worship. That is what I tried to tell you when I met you, but I’m afraid no words could describe the glory of the Lord. Run to Him, my friends, let no sin or doubt obstruct Him from your vision. 

Future Racers: To you I don’t know what to say. I wish I could warn you about what you are getting into, but I wouldn’t have listened to someone telling me that at the beginning of my race. Instead of giving fruitless warnings about what might happen and the expectations that might not be met, I’ll give you advice instead. The race is not ultimate. God is. People are going to tell you what your relationship with Him should look like. That’s what happens in a community focused on discipleship. Many things you are told are helpful, and I can’t express how instrumental AIM and my squadmates have been in growing my faith for the better. But I had to be rooted in the Word, taking everything that was said to Scripture. I promise that the physical things won’t seem so bad after a while, but when you begin to get attacked spiritually, hold fast to God, remain in Him and He will remain in you. Sometimes it feels as if you aren’t bearing any fruit, but that’s ok because He is preparing you to bear fruit. I don’t know if this is making any sense or whether you will need this at all. If your race looks anything like mine, you will experience a plethora of pain. But don’t let that scare you, only let that warning prepare you to remain in Christ and His Word. 

Gap G: I saved you for last. I think we can all agree that this was not what we signed up for. We entered Gainesville with bright naivety, assuming so many things that weren’t promised us. I think the greatest assumption we made was that everyone would stay. I think the second greatest assumption we made was that we would always possess the passion that infested our squad at training camp. I’m proud of you, nonetheless. And I want to apologize for the role I played in any pain or dissension that was caused. Can you forgive me for being silent when I should have spoken, or speaking when I should have been silent? Can you forgive me for my occasional apathy and the pride that I selfishly clung to? You have shown me that love is 24/7, that it is about cleaning out the overflowing trash can, doing dishes when it isn’t my turn, and being patient at 1 in the morning when no one will be quiet. You have encouraged me and loved me and accepted me, not for anything I gave you, but because you love the Lord. And though we could look back on the last 9 months and say it was a bad deal, that our experience was nothing like the flyer, I don’t believe that getting ya’ll was a bad deal at all. 

As I watch the smoke from the dump pollute the Nicaraguan sky, I think about God, Whose voice I have so often sought after. I think about the times when I did not hear Him but was unexplainably filled with praise. That’s the greatest miracle of this race, that I was able to look at all I had lost and still cling to Christ, crying, “Lord you are still good.” To whoever it may concern, whether I handed you a flyer in Romania or sent you a letter pleading for financial support, I beg you to remain in Him. I beg you to spend your life worshipping Him, adoring Him, being filled by Him. To whoever this letter reaches, He loves you. 

Love, 

Ruth Ann

 

P.S. This will be my last blog on the World Race website. If you have been consistently reading these posts I want to thank you for bearing with my occasional grammar mistakes or theological misrepresentations. The next steps for me are possible because of this opportunity to intern with AIM and share stories from the race. I will be taking online classes at Moody Bible Institute to get my bachelors’ in Theological studies so that I can continue being a Christian writer. This dream would have never been revealed to me without this internship. Please keep me in your prayers as I step into this next season the Lord has prepared in advance for me to do.