What I learned at Boot Camp!!

Hey y’all! I just got back from boot camp and I learned SO MUCH! I finally got to meet the incredible GAP G and my amazing squad leader, mentor, and coaches! I wanted to share what the Lord was teaching me last week. 

For those who don’t know, I grew up in a traditional church. I am so proud of my background because of the way the hymns and traditions of my home church were some of the most transformative things in my faith. I remember how singing from the pages of an old hymn book calmed my anxious heart before I went to bed, how kneeling during the designated confession time at service taught me about true repentance, and how at the end of the hour the whole congregation lifts up their hands for the benediction, humbly allowing the blessing of God wash over us before we went about our week. These functions remind me of the constancy of the Lord, the venerable legacy of the Saints who came before us, and that faith continues even when our feelings do not. 

I knew Adventures in Missions was a contemporary organization, and that while I was excited to experience a new type of worship, I knew it would be an adjustment for me because I have had bad experiences with charismatic churches in the past. I believe God wanted to show me how all sincere worship is pleasing to him, giving me a deeper understanding of him by stepping out of my comfort zone. But what should have been a healthy transition from one beauty to another, the enemy used as an opening to plant lies in my heart. He told me I was being  judged for not moving or dancing or crying out. He told me I wasn’t ‘spiritual’ enough because I didn’t feel the Holy Spirit like my squad mates did. He told me my faith was too small and my spirit too weak. He told me I didn’t belong and that I should just go home. I felt lonely, panicked, and insecure. 

But praise God, who is rich in mercy, who moves mountains with mustard seeds, who kills giants with pebbles, and who loves me ardently, madly, powerfully; Praise Him who fought these lies with His Word which I had stored up in my heart. Praise the Father,  who watches over me so diligently, never letting me stumble or slip. The enemy and his lies never had a chance against the King of the World. 

When I went home Sunday afternoon, I was confused. The Father reminded me to pick up my Bible. I recorded every lie I was told by the enemy and looked up Scripture to refute it. 

I was reminded of John 4:23-24, where Jesus tells the Samaritan woman who had quizzed him about the theology of worship, “Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”

I read 1 Corinthians 12:4-5 where He prodded me to value the spiritual gifts of my squad mates as well as my own. “There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord.”

To disclaim my worries about the difficult living conditions I would be faced with on the field, he reminded me of Matthew 6:19-34 (it’s a pretty long verse so I won’t include it here).

And in all of this he brought me back to what has been the principle encouragement of my faith, that His GRACE is SUFFICIENT for me, for HIS POWER is made PERFECT in weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

 In conclusion, contemporary worship will still be an adjustment. But I am not afraid of the enemy and his lies, because I have the very Word of God to combat him. “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” (Psalm 119:11) “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12) I believe the Lord will use the sincerity of Adventures in Missions and my squad to redeem my previous experiences with contemporary worship services. 

I can’t wait until the time I raise my hands in worship with my new family again. We do it not simply to feel His presence, but because He is the only One worthy of our Praise. It will never be enough, this feeble, imperfect, praise, but I believe humility and sincerity make him smile and give us a small taste of heaven.