Letters

I always thank my God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. For in him you have been enriched in every way—with all kinds of speech and with all knowledge— God thus confirming our testimony about Christ among you. Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. He will also keep you firm to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.

Laying tanged among my unwashed sheets and clothing that I was too tired to put away were letters. I was sitting on my bunk in the dark, ripping open one envelope after another. The rational part of my brain told me to go slowly, to make them last. But reading handwritten love from people from my hometown was addictive and sweet, like eating chocolate and not realizing how much you’ve consumed until you see the emptiness of the box. 

The truth is, I had no idea how much I needed encouragement until it came to me. These last few weeks in the DR have been the most challenging of my life. I have spent a lot of time questioning mission work, my future, my relationships, and even God Himself. I wouldn’t trade this season for anything, because I know that the Lord uses friction to strengthen our faith. I wouldn’t trade this season for anything because it makes me rely on Him, it has brought me closer to Him more than anything else has. I don’t want happiness at he expense of growth. I don’t want ease and comfort if that means I have to sacrifice sanctification. When I came to the DR I asked the Lord to grow me, but I should have prayed for something easier for me to handle so my pride wouldn’t be so fragmented. I’m not good enough, I never will be, I’m not brave enough or strong enough or gentle enough. But God Himself makes up for my lack, His grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in weakness. (1 Corinthians 12:9) God knows who I am, and He loves me anyway. He knows of my best intentions and my failed attempts at holiness, and yet He is still proud to call me His daughter. He gives me what I need when I need it. 

In this case, I needed encouragement, and He gave it to me, through you. Many of you who regularly read this blog wrote me a letter. Many of you take the time to email me. I cannot describe to you how much it has meant to me, to be emboldened and refreshed by your tender affections. I just wanted to thank you, with the most genuine gratefulness that I can muster. You might have taken 10 minutes out of your day, assured that you did the bare minimum to assist me, wondering if there was anything else you could do to support me. As I write this, my eyes threaten to leak tears, exhibiting my sensitivity to emotion at the moment. Thank you, readers, thank you prayer warriors, thank you brothers and sisters. Truly, you are one of my greatest blessings.